We need to talk…

We need to talk…

Almost every time I’ve heard those words (or used them myself) it never bodes well for a fun conversation.

It’s the kind of thing previous lovers or bosses have said. And the resulting conversations were not always pleasant to experience.

So imagine my complete surprise when I heard those words and realised it was my body talking to me!

Oh lordy… run away, run away, run away!

Or…

Bite the bullet and talk to my body.

In short, I chose the latter because putting these things off in the past had just prolonged the distress.

So, biting the proverbial bullet, I took my body off to the local park where I knew it would be a quiet space to talk. I found a bench to sit upon, and said: “OK body – let me have it with both barrels”.

Now it may sound strange to hear that I talk to my body like that. However, over the years my body and I have come to the awareness that words are often one of the easiest, clearest ways for us to communicate.

To clarify it is not always that way – sometimes it’s images, or just a knowing and awareness… but in this instance words were required.

My body said to me: You may not realise it but I actually really like you. We have a lot of fun together most of the time. Except for the times when you ignore me and what I require or judge me.

I was stunned. All the times I’d forced my body to do things it didn’t want, all the times where I refused to do the things it did, and most of all, all the times I’d judged it and made it wrong, came rushing through my head.

“Stop that and listen”.

Oops!

“You knew what I looked like before you chose to jump in, and you were looking forward to it. So please stop making me wrong for not fitting in with what you’ve now decided I should be like. I’m not, and I probably never will be.

I’d like to continue having fun with you, but you’ve got to change how you speak to me and what you choose with me. I sometimes struggle to deal with it. Although I do the best I can. But there will come a point where your judgments of me will make it too challenging to carry on with you.”

Now, this may sound dramatic, nevertheless, it is the best way for my body to get my attention!

That was two years ago we had that conversation, and a LOT has changed for me with my body.

Having this kind of very blunt, direct conversation with my body was like cold water on the face. It got me to be more present with it and make some choices.

Do I carry on killing my body with unkindness of judging it and forcing food down it that it doesn’t want? Or forcing it to move in ways that are not fun, or not moving it in ways that ARE fun?

Or do I make the demand of me to speak kindly to my body? Do I make the demand of me to really listen to my body and what it’s asking for? Do I make the demand of me to be totally grateful for my body and appreciate it no matter how it shows up?

I’ve been choosing the latter. It’s been challenging at times. And the good thing is I have some tools to assist me.

It all starts with a conversation. Being present with my body. Involving it in every choice that concerns it. Furthermore not making myself wrong for previous choices with my body.

If you talked to your lover the way you talk to your body would he or she stick around I wonder?

  •  What if you were willing to have a conversation with your body and ask it some questions?
  • What would your body most like you to know right now?
  •  What would it most like to gift to you?
  • What would it most like to receive from you?
  • What would create more ease, fun, and space with your body so it can contribute to your life more fully?

I invite you to ask these questions, just for the fun of it. I wonder what it might create and change for you?

by Alun Jones CF

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