Tips for Being You As A Parent

Rachael O Brien

Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator

I know a lot of you out there are experiencing a totally different way of being a parent at the moment. Most of us have never spent this much time at home with our kids. And many people are finding it a struggle to fit into that family equation. I’ve been fortunate to find tools as a parent that have been really helpful, from a modality called Access Consciousness. They have allowed me to parent in a completely different way. So I would like to give you some of my favourite tools that have given me the freedom to find the joy of parenting.

Never give you up. 

I wish I had had that tool when my children were young. For whatever reason, I became a very serious young mum. For example, I was obsessed with my children having the right clothes, lunchboxes, music lessons, sports etc. 

I tried to be the perfect mother who bakes the beautiful lasagne, wipes their noses, puts them to bed, cleans up their vomit and looks gorgeous doing it. Getting it right was of the utmost importance to me. All of the fun went out of being a parent for me, and I was exhausted.

However, when I was relaxed and just being me, I had this total caring, playfulness and joy. I noticed that when I had my guitar when my kids were young, and I would sing to them and play with them, that is when I was more relaxed and willing just to be myself. I can’t stress it enough do not give you up. Take a look at what allows you to be more of you. 

What I suggest is that you allocate one hour a day for yourself to do something you love. 

Trust your kids. 

‘Trust them to be who they are’ was what Gary Douglas told me, the founder of Access Consciousness and parent of four kids. For instance, my two girls are beautiful, intelligent young and astute women in the world. But I thought I knew better . I was convinced I had the recipe for how they should live. Not the case! They are well capable of knowing what works for them and how they would like to live their lives. So I have taken a step back, and I’m amazed at what they are creating.

So trust your child and look at your child, see what makes them happy.

Also, clear any projections and expectations that you have of them about how they should be. Because when you project on to them what they should do and have certain expectations of them, that is what kills and destroys what can be a sweet relationship.

Every child is different. 

If you are a parent of more than one child, you will know how different they can be. And this is where you have to trust what you know. I read every parenting book I could get my hands on looking for the right way. For example, I knew that my son wasn’t a mainstream school kid; he navigated the world in a different way. There is nothing wrong with your children if they don’t fit the mould or a particular parenting style. 

Before we finish, just know there is nothing that you’ve done wrong as a parent. The judgment of you will actually cripple you. If you have gratitude for your children and know that they’ve chosen you, life can be a whole lot more ease.

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